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"Young man," said the angry father from the head of stairs, "didn't I hear the clock strike four when you brought my daughter in?" 

"You did," admitted the boyfriend, "it was going to strike eleven , but I grabbed it and held the gon...

   A man was telling one of his friends the secret of his contented married life, "My wife makes all the small decisions," he explained, "and I make all the big ones, so we never interfere in each other's business and never get annoyed w...

Wife: Dear! Take a look at those soldiers gawking at the lovely young girl passing by. 

Husband: Soldiers? What soldiers? 

At a dinner party a shy young man had been trying to think of something nice to say to his hostess. At last he saw his chance when she turned to him and remarked, "What a small appetite you have tonight, Mr. Jones." 

"To sit next to ...

  　After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave.When he returned to the table, he lowered h...

   On the way home one night, I spotted some fresh-cut roses outside a florist's shop. After selecting a dozen and entering the shop, I was greeted by a young saleswoman.

   "Are these for your wife, sir?" she asked. ...

　　 A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!!" The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "WITCH(女巫)!!" They each c...

    At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend. "Shall I engrave her name on it?" the jeweler asked.

    The customer thought for a moment, and then said, "No-e...

Ai Lisha says earnestly to Jeanne: "You rejected Aliekesi was to make a mistake, he and I married now, he is a good man really. He is a good man really..

Jeanne: "I am strange not at all, when I reject him, he says, as a result of anguish...

To the A De that the United States plays, this day comes to new York the famousest homosexual street.

He sees an antique alley child, when thinking one view...

"You had better not go in... " aside the black talked

...

In railroad car, a madam should close a window, another madam should open a window, two people each other does not let, be forced to invite guard finally.
"Guard gentleman, " the wife that should close a window says, "Car window is leaving, I can...

Annie receives the incoming letter of fiance, see writing on the letter only: "Dear, I miss you, miss you
That aureate hair on the neck of a pig is sent, the eye of shallow blue, high zygomatic, the scar that still your left hand goes up and
...

Lakefront is leaning close a pair of sweethearts.
Na Qian: Do you love me?
Jackie: Of course, I love you to surpass the life that loves my.
Na Qian is pointing to lake face to say: You dare from here jump down, I believe your word. ...

A new restaurant opened in our town, so my husband, Walter, and I decided to try it. As the waitress took our order, Walter asked if the coffee was fresh. "I'm sure it is," answered the waitress. "We've only been open two weeks."

If you visit her too often, she thinks it is boring  

If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy  

If you don't, she accuses you of double crossing  

If you don't, you are a ...

English：Boy:Honey,my love of you is beyond expression.
Girl:Then you can use money to express it.

A judge asked our group of potential jurors whether anyone should be excused, and one man raised his hand.
　　
"I can't hear out of my left ear," the man told the judge.
　　
"Can you hear out of your right ear?" the judge asked. The...

Police: When can it be that the thieves broke into your house?

Owner: How could I know as my watch was stolen?

The English author，Richard Savage，was once living inLondon in great poverty．In order to earn a little money he hadwritten the story of his life，but not many copies of the bookhad been sold in the shops，and Savage was living from hand tomouth．As a resul...

One day when women's dresses were on sale at the FarEast Department Store, a dignified middle-aged man decided to get his wife a piece. But he soon found himself being battered by frantic women.

He stood it as long as he could; then, with...

At a dinner party a shy young man had been trying to think of something nice to say to his hostess. At last he saw his chance when she turned to him and remarked, "What a small appetite you have tonight, Mr. Jones."

"To sit next to you," ...

I promised my girlfriend a gold necklace for her birthday, but when the jeweler quoted a price for one we liked, I let out a long, low whistle. "And how much are they then?" I asked, pointing to another tray.

"You, sir," replied the jeweler...

A man tried to get a job in a stage show. "What can you do?" asked the producer.

"Imitate birds," the man said.

"Are you kidding?" answered the producer, "People like that are a dime a dozen."

"Well, I guess that's t...

"How did you make your fortune?"
"I became the partner of a rich man.He had the money and I had the experience."
"How did that help?"
"Now he has the experience and I the money."

Wife: Bill, the man in that house opposite always kisses his wife when he leaves in the morning and he kisses her again when he comes back in the evening. Why don't you do that too?

Husband: Well, I don't know her very well yet.

Poet: I hope you've received the little volume of poems I sent you.
Woman: Oh, yes. It's very nice. I wonder where I've put it?

Her son: It's under the leg of the table, Mom, to make it steady.

Mr．and Mrs．Taylor had a seven year old boy named Pat．Now Mrs．Taylor was expecting another child．

Pat had seen babies in other people's houses and had not liked them very much，so he was not delighted about the news that there was soon goin...

"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.

One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, t...

A young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste any food when there were so many hungry people in the world. One evening, she was giving her small daughterher tea before putting her to bed. First she gave her a slice of fresh brown bread and bu...